Senortrippington Bootleg lean consumer
Registered: 09/21/11
Posts: 589
Last seen: 4 hours, 39 minutes
My girlfriend is currently studying a semester abroad - she is in spain. We have agreed to keep the long distance relationship - skyline occasionally and texting a bit every day (at some point there is only so much you can say over text). As one might expect, she is meeting a lot of new people.
About a week after going there I see this guy in a picture with her. In group pictures, he always seems to have part of his body leaning on her - sometimes his head. Now, these didn't really? bother me at all.? A couple days later, she puts a profile picture up of her and him. My gut instinct is that nothing has happened between the two but rather? she just wanted to see how I would react. I didn't say anything because in all honesty it never really crossed my mind. It's just a stupid profile picture - I have tons I pictures with other girls and so on.?
Anyways, three-4 days later, the picture isn't changed but deleted completely.? To me, this is the more shockin than anything else. Since it was her default pic. It was pretty noticeable that it had suddenly been deleted. What do you guys think? Trying to get a reaction out of me and failed? Trying to hide something?
I'd rather avoid a needless confrontation if you guys believe my thoughts to be unwarranted.
NizzyJones Fight evil with funk
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koraks
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Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 18,736
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.
baraka ?
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find some local pussy?
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withoutawire Bunny Lover
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Registered: 08/16/09
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Quote:
koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.
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Senortrippington Bootleg lean consumer
Registered: 09/21/11
Posts: 589
Last seen: 4 hours, 39 minutes
Quote:
withoutawire said:Quote:
koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.
Good idea.
Lynnch Strangerer
Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 3,957
Long distance, ugh, rough.
It seems like if it's gonna work out, you ought to be able to talk to her about it, about any thing. But then again maybe this is something you don't wanna know? I wouldn't confront her like "Who the hell was that dude in your profile pic?!?" but if you have to bring it up maybe something casual like "Hey what happened to that pic of you and your friend whatshisname?, that was a good pic..."? ? You either trust her or you don't, and you ought to keep in touch with her by talking to her- not by facebook stalking and reading into every picture she puts up.
All We Perceive Philosopher
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Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 7,227
Loc: colorado
Last seen: 8 minutes, 33 seconds
Quote:
Lynnch said:
Long distance, ugh, rough.It seems like if it's gonna work out, you ought to be able to talk to her about it, about any thing. But then again maybe this is something you don't wanna know? I wouldn't confront her like "Who the hell was that dude in your profile pic?!?" but if you have to bring it up maybe something casual like "Hey what happened to that pic of you and your friend whatshisname?, that was a good pic..."? ? You either trust her or you don't, and you ought to keep in touch with her by talking to her- not by facebook stalking and reading into every picture she puts up.
? Spot on advice as usual.? Playing to a female's ego is always the best move.
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Apropos Existentialist
Registered: 09/02/12
Posts: 42
I just returned from my study abroad trip.? I was gone for several months, but maintained my LDR with my boyfriend.? Here's the thing about studying abroad.? Your girlfriend is going to meet lots of people and make lots of friends.? Try to be happy for her and support her in her experiences.? Establish some way to effectively communicate your feelings to each other because it will be a pretty rough ride.? But if she is maintaining a LDR while abroad, then you obviously are very important to her.? It's too much work to try to maintain a LDR if this wasn't the case.
So trust your girlfriend, and try not to put too much thought into a facebook picture.? But if you're concerned, ask her about this guy.? Don't "play up her ego." Just ask her, with genuine curiosity, about her experience there.
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lunarpiscean Stranger
Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 23
Last seen: 36 seconds
Maybe something was going on between the two of them & they got into a fight so she deleted it?
Who really knows unless you ask.
Maharishi_2_U Ex Shroomerite
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Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 3,912
Loc: NotInThisShithol
Facebook + Relationship = fail
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funegi Stranger
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Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 766
Loc: lat: right, long
Quote:
Apropos said:
? It's too much work to try to maintain a LDR if this wasn't the case.? Don't "play up her ego."
I don't agree. i appreciate the female 2 cents, but no.
she may just be very non-confrontational and would rather not have to deal w/"manning up" and breaking up, but would want the facebooking to do it for her.?
however, the pic could have given the other guy the wrong idea and so she had to take it down to stop him from trying to get in her panties.
i agree you should take lynnch's approach.
make it no big deal, play up her ego, and let her feel like she can tell you everything.
this:
Quote:
Lynnch said:
Long distance, ugh, rough.It seems like if it's gonna work out, you ought to be able to talk to her about it, about any thing. But then again maybe this is something you don't wanna know? I wouldn't confront her like "Who the hell was that dude in your profile pic?!?" but if you have to bring it up maybe something casual like "Hey what happened to that pic of you and your friend whatshisname?, that was a good pic..."? ? You either trust her or you don't, and you ought to keep in touch with her by talking to her- not by facebook stalking and reading into every picture she puts up.
ForgottenExistence Stranger
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Registered: 12/28/12
Posts: 33
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 second
I always get concerned when there are females willing to put up a picture in order to "test their man" or "make him jealous"
That mindset is a relationship killer.
nooneman Stranger
Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,343
Quote:
withoutawire said:Quote:
koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.
atomicshaman kind of a dick
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Registered: 02/02/11
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Loc: germany
rackem ?
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,088
shes banging a spaniard, do her a favor and let her go so she can have the time of her life without feeling guilty.
tell her to hit ya up when she gets back and if so chooses, get back with her.
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Senortrippington Bootleg lean consumer
Registered: 09/21/11
Posts: 589
Last seen: 4 hours, 39 minutes
Yeah I'm at a mix between everything that's been said here. Largely because I do not read into every Facebook post/photo because as I have stated before - I think Facebook is stupid. and, in coordination with what has been said here - it only results in speculation.
The relationship has had moments where we reaffirmed are trust - but never "ISSUES" of trust. I have been very supportive of this trip, explaining that I want her close but indeed want her to embark on this great experience. She is not one to cheat and I have found it pointless AND WASTEFUL to say have fun and talk to me when you get back and see if we can work something out. Anyways, I'm gonna ask her today. She tells me pretty frequently about her new encounters so I wanted to see if anything came out on its own.
Like some of you have suggested, I am trying to let her enjoy herself - not have her staring down at a screen all day. That just makes the girl more sad - common sense in a LDR. I am waiting for a nice time to ask her - we Skype every few days but its normally been late for her. She goes out drinks and likes to come back and talk to me from like 4-6 am her time occasionally. In the event that this did spiral down int a more grand ordeal, I'd rather she be completely sober. Moreover, the last thing you tell a Girl is OK I have something to ask you but I'm not going to now. A chain of events like so will certainly lead her down a path to temporary insanity (damn you female thought processing)
millzy 
Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 6,003
Last seen: 7 minutes, 41 seconds
Quote:
koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.
a friend of mine, married, 34 - we're older but both of us are back in school now - studied in spain abroad this past summer. he went with a bunch of younger students. from the way he put it, most of the women were spoken for and up to stuff that, had their s.o.'s found out, should've gotten them dumped.
i'd ask her, and when she lies about it, wait until she gets back to dump her. for me, i wouldn't want to break it off while she's there, because then she can be out getting her fill of girl power and dick for being a cheating whore to begin with. i would want to let her sit in it for as long as possible. it would be a success on my end if she failed her minimester and spent every night crying herself to sleep wondering what i'm going to do when she gets home.
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It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.- Philip K. Dick
tedthekid Stranger
Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 317
Last seen: 1 second
I dunno, might as well at least casually ask her about it and see how she reacts. Don't push it or get mad, though.
For a little optimism, I studied abroad a year ago and there was this girl in my group who had a boyfriend, and who I was often times close to in pictures. I could tell we were a little attracted to each other, but nothing ever came of it because I knew she was not the type to cheat, and I'm not the type to help a girl cheat. I could tell her boyfriend was a bit jealous of it too cuz she'd always bring up how they'd talk about the pictures of us, and he'd sorta make fun of me haha.
Really we were just pretty good friends, and she liked to take a lot of pictures. I wouldn't worry about it much if I were you man. If she's a good girl, you should be fine.
But like I said, if you're curious, casually bring it up and see how she reacts. Based on how she reacts, you should be able to gauge if anything is up. Like if she gets a little high strung and aggressive, you might have a problem.
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